Shit Just Got Real: Hellblazer #267

Everybody loves a holiday weekend, but they have dread consequences in comics: delayed new comics. It’s bad enough that Tuesday feels like Monday, but to have Wednesday shorn of all its meaning is just cruel. Just as I started writing this, Janice related to me that for a moment she didn’t think there were going to be bagels at her job today, because Wednesday is bagel day there. Bagel day starts with bagels and ends with comics, right? So no comics means no bagels. But there were bagels! How could this be?!

How the world entire doesn’t drown in chaos and madness is beyond me.

You know who is good at chaos? John Constantine. He’s currently having a little issue with the madness, though. Hellblazer #267 is mostly setup for Milligan’s big Shade the Changing Man arc, so there wasn’t really any meat there to review, but it very solidly establishes that John is even more severely fucked than usual. It ends in a splash page that might as well be the first panel of the story proper, and, in the most ironic way possible, shit just got very real for Bastard John:

Yeah, that should go well.

I know this week is hard with comics being late and all, but look on the bright side: you’re not John. And hey, new comics on Thursday isn’t so bad; the week’s almost over at that rate. And think about those lucky folks in the UK, they get their new comics on Friday! Instant party and the whole weekend to kill the hangover. Hang in there, gang. We’ll all get through this together.

“I’ll Tell You the Ultimate Secret of Madness…”

Hellblazer was my first love as an adult comics reader, which essentially made Vertigo my first drug dealer when Constantine was shuffled over to the (then) new imprint. I attacked just about every other early Vertigo title with the kind of gusto only a 19-year-old can summon. My next favorite book, after Hellblazer, was Peter Milligan’s reboot of Shade the Changing Man. As you can imagine, Milligan currently writing Hellblazer is really a personal treat for me, and the most recent ‘No Future’ story was pretty brilliant, all things considered. The next arc, however, by this point in the paragraph, should be a no-brainer as to why I’m excited. So, to cut to the chase, I offer the following Hellblazer cover art posted on the Vertigo website today:

Run, rabbit, run.

I believe this is where you young whippersnapper fanboys say “SQUEE” these days. My favorite touch is John’s tie and, as Janice’s ever-sharp eyes caught, his boxers. If there’s anyone in comics who can be said to have the Madness in his trousers, it’s John Constantine. Can’t wait.